I have always been a fan of funny t-shirts. I like the ones that are sarcastic and catch dumb people off guard. However, I am getting to wear them less and less as I become more and more important professionally. Luckily, there is still bowling night. This gives me carte blanche to wear whatever sarcastic or downright offensive shirt I want.
I have this cousin in West Virginia who I have already predicted the cause of death for. His name is Patrick. He smokes about two packs of Marlboros a day, at least. Sometimes more. He also lives in the Appalachians, breeding grounds for radioactive material. Those hills are full of deadly radon. Plus, he works at a place where theres a class action lawsuit going on about mesothelioma. Therefore, I think his cause of death will be lung cancer in the third degree.
I recently got into the air conditioning business. I was bringing parts and tools with me in my Ford F150, but as I got more and more calls I realized I couldn’t continue to abuse my recreational truck by loading it with my tons of tools. That’s when I decided to get an old beater Chevy to do my work. I figured I could get a bay on the back for my permanent tool center and have a few ladder racks installed. I’m ready to go!
Well, it’s that time of year again. You turn on ESPN and see baseball being broadcasted from Florida and Arizona. The clocks are set to spring forward tomorrow morning. Spring is indeed here, though you wouldn’t know it here in the midwest. We are piled under snow! Nevertheless, it’s time for spring cleaning and home improvements. Top on my list this year is painting the inside and installing some new roller shades.
Believe it or not, the place I spent the most time in sleeping in a hotel was Tennessee. I spent my childhood in North Carolina, so the closet vacation destination was Pigeon Forge, home of Dolly Parton’s Dollywood theme park. There were plenty of other attractions, too. If you were alive in the Great Smoky mountains, you knew about this little tourist trap. The trick was to find hotel deals before you got there, as the hotels there were notorious for price gouging and everything else to gain an advantage.
