This spring, I am planning on putting a bunch of teak patio furniture out on the deck. That way, I can have BBQ get togethers all year round. Last year, I hosted the Super Bowl party for my friends and I. It was terribly hot inside the house and I heard rumblings that my guests wished it was outside, so I caved to peer pressure and got the setup.
As sports fans probably already know, baseball season is coming soon. The last few years have been tough for the game, with accusations of steroids and performance enhancement abound. In my eyes, anything that can be purchased at a health food store should be legal to use. Many of these guys under the knife now are accused of using legal steroids that you can get anywhere, so why are the pundits pursuing it as a crime?
They say you can never have too much insurance coverage. At least that’s what the insurance companies say. I have about a hundred thousand dollars waiting for my family upon my death in order to take care of final expenses. I just don’t see the need to expand this any further to put a financial strain on myself, which is why I throw out all the life insurance offers that come through the mail.
The concept of those new sleep number beds are just amazing. You can now have two beds in one to meet the comfort of both people. My wife enjoys a softer bed and I like ones that are as hard as a rock to support my back. This is why we have gone out on a limb to look at adjustable beds. Maybe one day when we get some money, we will be able to afford one.
I have always been a fan of funny t-shirts. I like the ones that are sarcastic and catch dumb people off guard. However, I am getting to wear them less and less as I become more and more important professionally. Luckily, there is still bowling night. This gives me carte blanche to wear whatever sarcastic or downright offensive shirt I want.
I have this cousin in West Virginia who I have already predicted the cause of death for. His name is Patrick. He smokes about two packs of Marlboros a day, at least. Sometimes more. He also lives in the Appalachians, breeding grounds for radioactive material. Those hills are full of deadly radon. Plus, he works at a place where theres a class action lawsuit going on about mesothelioma. Therefore, I think his cause of death will be lung cancer in the third degree.
I recently got into the air conditioning business. I was bringing parts and tools with me in my Ford F150, but as I got more and more calls I realized I couldn’t continue to abuse my recreational truck by loading it with my tons of tools. That’s when I decided to get an old beater Chevy to do my work. I figured I could get a bay on the back for my permanent tool center and have a few ladder racks installed. I’m ready to go!
Well, it’s that time of year again. You turn on ESPN and see baseball being broadcasted from Florida and Arizona. The clocks are set to spring forward tomorrow morning. Spring is indeed here, though you wouldn’t know it here in the midwest. We are piled under snow! Nevertheless, it’s time for spring cleaning and home improvements. Top on my list this year is painting the inside and installing some new roller shades.
Believe it or not, the place I spent the most time in sleeping in a hotel was Tennessee. I spent my childhood in North Carolina, so the closet vacation destination was Pigeon Forge, home of Dolly Parton’s Dollywood theme park. There were plenty of other attractions, too. If you were alive in the Great Smoky mountains, you knew about this little tourist trap. The trick was to find hotel deals before you got there, as the hotels there were notorious for price gouging and everything else to gain an advantage.
Have you ever wondered what happened to slugger Mark McGwire? In 1998, he was on top of the world, seemingly invincible. He was chasing the all time record for home runs in a season, and looked to be a sure thing first ballot hall of famer. Then came the steroid controversy, everything was lobbed his way such as accusations of using progesterone and HGH to over the counter preparations. No ones really sure what he did, but it’s been enough to completely forget his name.
